Piecrust Matters: Taste-Testing the Mince Pies of Lincoln

Season's greetings and I hope you and your loved ones are healthy and safe.

Like many people around the world, the Christmas of 2020 is the first one I will be spending entirely on my own. I've know this was coming since November, but still only managed to make myself pick up the phone and move my flight home less than twenty-four hours before it was due to depart. I've been coping in various ways: reading lots of romance novels, sleeping poorly, going for a run every day, and eating baked goods. 

Specifically, mince pies.

"Mince Pie Stars!" by Caro Wallis is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

 

Mince pies are one of those British traditions that, as a foreigner, I took awhile to really start liking. It helped that they start appearing in late November, and that I like going to carol concerts, Christmas parties, and other gatherings where mince pies might be served. (It also helps that I have a voracious and equal-opportunity sweet tooth.) What really cemented by liking for them was the mince pies I made with a jar of a friend's homemade mincemeat. Since then, I've found them a delightful part of the holidays.

This year, to cheer myself up during the festive season, I decided to make a point of trying all the mince pies sold at bakeries within walking distance of my house.

Gadsby's Bakery (sold at the Lincolnshire Co-Op)

Rating: 5/10 (6/10 when heated up)

Website

 

These mince pies are heavy on the crust. When eaten at room temperature, this has a crumbly texture and very little taste, but the taste and texture of the crust improves dramatically when they are heated up. (The idea came from the warm mince pies served warm after Lincoln Cathedral's carol service one year.) The mulled wine I enjoyed with these definitely helped, as did the fact that I was eating them while having a Zoom chat with a good friend as we both wrote our Christmas cards. I wouldn't go out of my way to have these again, but they're perfectly nice.

 

Vine's Bakery

Rating: 9/10

Website

 

As you can see, heavy on the crust but quite delicious

This bakery has occupied a tiny storefront at the bottom of Steep Hill for less than two years but they are already one of my favourite places to go just after I've been paid (their sourdough bread is expensive but delicious, and they sell the best bagels I've had in the UK, outside of the ones I make in my own kitchen). So when I wandered in after some errands that look me downhill, I was delighted to see they were selling 'mince tarts', a large open face mince pie. The crust had a sandy texture and some kind of nut (almond? walnut?) in it, but was clearly made with lots and lots of butter, and the filling was lovely, with raisins and dried cranberries. There wasn't quite enough of it for my taste, but the toasted slivered almonds scattered across the top of the pie more than made up for this. 

 

Would purchase again, and give to a friend I really liked.

 

Curtis' Bakery

Rating: 6/10

Website

Curtis, a bakery and butcher shop, is a local institution. With a branch near the university where I work and two bakeries in my neighbourhood, I'm rather surprised this was the third mince pie I tried. I got their package of mince pie varieties: a mine pie topped with brandy cream, a traditional mince pie, and a pie with swirled topping. The crumbliness of the crust made them rather difficult to extract from their adorable wee mince pie tins, but in the interest of research I persevered. I think I might have enjoyed these even more if I had bought the fresh ones from their bakery case. 

 

Variety Pack of Mince Pies from Curtis

 Further research is clearly required.

 

Elite Fish and Chips

Rating: -10/10

Website

 

My daily runs often take me through the Bailgate area, and after a few weeks of running past a sign that said 'Battered Mince Pies £1', it was easy enough to add these to my 'thank the Lord teaching is over for Christmas' takeaway order last Friday. I had a vague expectations of a nice fresh donut with mincemeat filling.

This was terribly, terribly incorrect.

It turns out that a battered mince pie means, quite literally, a mince pie that has been removed from its wee foil pie tin, dipped in fish and chip batter, and fried until the coating is puffy and crisp. While the mince pie filling is nicely heated, the crust becomes warm, soggy, and...chalky somehow? It's hard to describe but even more revolting than it sounds. Don't buy these, even for someone you deeply dislike.

Starbuck's Bakery

Rating: Unknown

Website

 

I had hoped to conclude my taste-testing (and get the taste of the battered mince pies out of my mouth) with mince pies from Starbuck's--not the global coffee chain, but an independent neighbourhood bakery. Unfortunately, before I was able to get there, the owners closed the bakery temporarily, and hopefully not permanently, on 12 December.

Conclusions and Recommendations

Like many American bakers, one of the first things I made regularly was pies, and from this I learned the importance of a good pie crust: it needs to have a crisp texture to offset what is usually a soft filling, it can't add sweetness to what is usually a hefty dose of sugar, and it needs to be sturdy enough to survive in good condition for at least a few days. Surprisingly enough, it was the crust I noticed most in my mince pie explorations--the fillings all tasted pretty similar, but my favourite mine pie (the one from Vine's) had a crust which I would happily eat as if it were a cookie. 

In conclusion, put butter in your mince pie crusts! And have a very Merry Christmas.